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covgirl
wiltshire
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646 of 711  Thu 22nd Jun 2017 9:22pm  
Member: Joined Jun 2015  Total posts:52

Blush What is it with parents and mispronunciation? My mother went into a shop and asked for "durex" batteries, when the rather flustered assistant asked her what they were for, she told him it was for her genital clock!! His face was a picture Blush
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Slim
Another Coventry kid
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647 of 711  Fri 23rd Jun 2017 8:18am  
Member: Joined Mar 2013  Total posts:399

Quel embarassamondo! An aunt of mine always referred to cough mixture as "bronical mixture", and asked for that at the chemist's. My grandmother used to refer to liqueur chocolates as "them licker chocolates".
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pixrobin
Canley
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648 of 711  Fri 30th Jun 2017 10:12am  
Member: Joined Mar 2014  Total posts:1004

Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, went to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the children. He talked about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wanted the best for the people. At the end of the talk, there was an opportunity for questions. Little Sasha raised her hand and asked "I have two questions." "Go ahead", said Putin. "Why did the Russians take Crimea? And why are we sending troops to the Ukraine?" Putin replied, "Good questions!" But just as he was about to answer, the bell rang, and the kids dispersed to lunch. When they returned from lunch, they sat back down and resumed for more questions. Another girl, Misha, put her hand up and asked, "I have four questions." "Go ahead", replied Putin. "My questions are - Why did the Russians invade Crimea? Why are we sending troops to the Ukraine? Why did the bell go 20 minutes early? And where is Sasha?"
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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Thread starter
649 of 711  Fri 30th Jun 2017 2:02pm  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4825

Annie Who??? Oh my Big grin Roll eyes
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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Thread starter
650 of 711  Thu 6th Jul 2017 5:52pm  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4825

His own bus shelter! Big grin
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PhilipInCoventry
Holbrooks
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651 of 711  Fri 7th Jul 2017 8:28am  
Moderator: Joined Apr 2010  Total posts:3945

Hi all Wave Which came first, the chicken or the egg, or in the above bus stop saga, it was the bus stop, that has been in that location for over twenty years. Amusing though.
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Derrickarthur
Coventry
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652 of 711  Mon 10th Jul 2017 4:00pm  
Member: Joined Nov 2014  Total posts:141

Love comedian Bob Newhart's material such as Walter Raleigh inventing tobacco, and Abraham Lincoln sketch but I’m sure I remember a sketch involving a publisher who is on the phone to a new playwright named William Shakespeare who is trying to explain the plots to new plays, Othello & A Midsummer Night Dream without much success. I cannot find reference to this sketch anywhere online and am beginning to think I imagined it. Or did it cause some PC issues and has been buried? Can anyone shed any light on this please.

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Wimero
Nr Rugby
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653 of 711  Tue 11th Jul 2017 3:28pm  
Member: Joined Mar 2015  Total posts:146

For swimming a length of Livingstone Road baths, when I was about 10 years old and a pupil at Stoke Junior School, I was awarded my certificate. I remember my gran being so proud as she told my granddad that I had been certified and had been given a 'cerstifficut' to prove it. Blush
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Rob Orland
Historic Coventry
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654 of 711  Tue 11th Jul 2017 6:55pm  
Webmaster: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:1260

On 10th Jul 2017 4:00pm, Derrickarthur said: Love comedian Bob Newhart's material such as Walter Raleigh inventing tobacco....
That's one of the funniest sketches I've ever heard - how anyone can possibly see the logic in smoking after hearing it, goodness knows! Lol I don't know of any sketch he did about Shakespeare, but if it's half as good as the tobacco one then it'll be worth finding. I've had a quick search on YouTube and elsewhere but not come across it yet I'm afraid. Knowing the kind of stuff you often see on YouTube, I doubt if a bit of political incorrectness would prevent them from hosting it.... fortunately! Wink
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Derrickarthur
Coventry
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655 of 711  Wed 12th Jul 2017 8:02am  
Member: Joined Nov 2014  Total posts:141

I seem to remember Will (Shakespeare) explaining that Othello is a black guy who kidnaps Desdemona (a white girl) and the publisher says "That won't go down very well, what else you got" Will then explains A Midsummer Nights Dream is about Fairies and there's a guy called Bottom who has the head of an Ass. I can understand that the content may not be acceptable by today's standards but cannot understand why there doesn't seem to be any evidence that it ever existed. I agree Rob that it should be out there somewhere. I have had some response from Facebook friends who also remember the sketch so I am glad I haven't gone totally doolally.
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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656 of 711  Wed 12th Jul 2017 10:26am  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1982

Man, twenty-eight, haughty cool, name of Rowley Crossed the road always slowly He waited till cars were incredibly near Then sauntered across with an arrogant sneer And by this expedient - this was the plan He aimed to display to us he was the man His end, though, was tragic, he dashed out his brains It turns out you can't do the same thing with trains
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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Thread starter
657 of 711  Fri 21st Jul 2017 7:45am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4825

The new HS2 route will pass directly through a Doncaster man's living room, between the TV and the sofa, every 30 minutes. The high-speed rail link will go through 66-year-old Bill McKay's home up to 24 times a day at speeds approaching 250 miles per hour, about which he is not happy. He said: "They tell me it'll be so fast I won't notice it. I'll bloody notice it. "I'm not an excitable man, I'm well past that, my blood's cooled, but a high-speed train packed with passengers racing past while I'm watching Pointless in my undercrackers is going too far. "I'm not moving! I've got pigeons, but if it's repeatedly spilling my brew I'll have to have words." A spokesman for HS2 said: "We have tried wherever possible to limit disruption to residential areas, and have largely succeeded apart from in the particular case of the living room of Mr McKay. "He will be well compensated with a larger television."
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PhilipInCoventry
Holbrooks
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658 of 711  Fri 21st Jul 2017 9:33am  
Moderator: Joined Apr 2010  Total posts:3945

Only one answer to that. A Song
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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659 of 711  Mon 24th Jul 2017 5:15pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1982

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, take a big breath, you're about to fall Open your eyes, you're not looking at me, don't know that guy, who is he I've warned you many times, my face does not have so many lines I'd kick you in your bargain basement, if it wasn't for my hip-replacement. I'm just getting on, and nature is cruel, just makes us old folk feel like a fool What have you done to my curly hair, now snow white and almost bare And what have you done to my once sparkling eyes You've made them so bleary, that really wasn't so wise I'd really like to give you clout, except for my pacemaker's running out You never did care for me, not a thing, so now I'm going to cut your string You'll fall and break, end up in the bin, I don't care, I've got rid of him
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LesMac
Coventry
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660 of 711  Tue 8th Aug 2017 12:18pm  
Member: Joined Dec 2011  Total posts:292

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow' for assessment. "Ooh!" the presenter said, "This is a very rare set produced by the Johns Brothers Celebrated Taxidermists. They operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?" "Sticks," replied Paddy.
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