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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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646 of 672  Tue 6th Jun 2017 3:11pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1737

A city guy, out in the countryside for the day thought he would have some fun taking the micky out of the country yokel City guy - So why do you walk about with your head bent looking at the ground, when you could stand straight like me? Yokel - See that field of corn there, well some have there heads bent because they're full of good corn, but the ones standing upright, they are empty headed.
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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647 of 672  Wed 7th Jun 2017 9:16am  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1737

Stranger to Farmer. "I see you have two dogs" Farmer. "Yes sir" Stranger. "What is the name of that one?" Farmer. "You know" "No I don't" "But I just told you. You know" "Oh" (perplexed) "Well what is the name of the other one?" "Why" "Why, because I want to know" "Well I just told you. Why" "But why 'Why'?" "Because that's his name"
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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Thread starter
648 of 672  Thu 22nd Jun 2017 11:50am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4472

Good on them! Lol Thumbs up
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Rob Orland
Historic Coventry
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649 of 672  Thu 22nd Jun 2017 7:50pm  
Webmaster: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:998

On 24th May 2017 7:57pm, Derek Skelcher said (on another thread): I well remember Wheatcroft's Ironmongers as the place where my father embarrassed me by asking for a can of "Durex" White Paint!
Many years ago my nan embarrassed my mum on a bus with the same thing - she explained how she'd just bought herself a "tin of Durex"! The other passengers must've thought it was a rather strange choice of packaging! Lol
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covgirl
wiltshire
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650 of 672  Thu 22nd Jun 2017 9:22pm  
Member: Joined Jun 2015  Total posts:50

Blush What is it with parents and mispronunciation? My mother went into a shop and asked for "durex" batteries, when the rather flustered assistant asked her what they were for, she told him it was for her genital clock!! His face was a picture Blush
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Slim
Coventry a bit
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651 of 672  Fri 23rd Jun 2017 8:18am  
Member: Joined Mar 2013  Total posts:364

Quel embarassamondo! An aunt of mine always referred to cough mixture as "bronical mixture", and asked for that at the chemist's. My grandmother used to refer to liqueur chocolates as "them licker chocolates".
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pixrobin
Canley
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652 of 672  Fri 30th Jun 2017 10:12am  
Member: Joined Mar 2014  Total posts:992

Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, went to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the children. He talked about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wanted the best for the people. At the end of the talk, there was an opportunity for questions. Little Sasha raised her hand and asked "I have two questions." "Go ahead", said Putin. "Why did the Russians take Crimea? And why are we sending troops to the Ukraine?" Putin replied, "Good questions!" But just as he was about to answer, the bell rang, and the kids dispersed to lunch. When they returned from lunch, they sat back down and resumed for more questions. Another girl, Misha, put her hand up and asked, "I have four questions." "Go ahead", replied Putin. "My questions are - Why did the Russians invade Crimea? Why are we sending troops to the Ukraine? Why did the bell go 20 minutes early? And where is Sasha?"
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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Thread starter
653 of 672  Fri 30th Jun 2017 2:02pm  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4472

Annie Who??? Oh my Big grin Roll eyes
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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Thread starter
654 of 672  Thu 6th Jul 2017 5:52pm  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4472

His own bus shelter! Big grin
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PhilipInCoventry
Holbrooks
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655 of 672  Fri 7th Jul 2017 8:28am  
Moderator: Joined Apr 2010  Total posts:3824

Hi all Wave Which came first, the chicken or the egg, or in the above bus stop saga, it was the bus stop, that has been in that location for over twenty years. Amusing though.
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Derrickarthur
Coventry
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656 of 672  Mon 10th Jul 2017 4:00pm  
Member: Joined Nov 2014  Total posts:134

Love comedian Bob Newhart's material such as Walter Raleigh inventing tobacco, and Abraham Lincoln sketch but I’m sure I remember a sketch involving a publisher who is on the phone to a new playwright named William Shakespeare who is trying to explain the plots to new plays, Othello & A Midsummer Night Dream without much success. I cannot find reference to this sketch anywhere online and am beginning to think I imagined it. Or did it cause some PC issues and has been buried? Can anyone shed any light on this please.

Question

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Wimero
Nr Rugby
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657 of 672  Tue 11th Jul 2017 3:28pm  
Member: Joined Mar 2015  Total posts:147

For swimming a length of Livingstone Road baths, when I was about 10 years old and a pupil at Stoke Junior School, I was awarded my certificate. I remember my gran being so proud as she told my granddad that I had been certified and had been given a 'cerstifficut' to prove it. Blush
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Rob Orland
Historic Coventry
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658 of 672  Tue 11th Jul 2017 6:55pm  
Webmaster: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:998

On 10th Jul 2017 4:00pm, Derrickarthur said: Love comedian Bob Newhart's material such as Walter Raleigh inventing tobacco....
That's one of the funniest sketches I've ever heard - how anyone can possibly see the logic in smoking after hearing it, goodness knows! Lol I don't know of any sketch he did about Shakespeare, but if it's half as good as the tobacco one then it'll be worth finding. I've had a quick search on YouTube and elsewhere but not come across it yet I'm afraid. Knowing the kind of stuff you often see on YouTube, I doubt if a bit of political incorrectness would prevent them from hosting it.... fortunately! Wink
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Derrickarthur
Coventry
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659 of 672  Wed 12th Jul 2017 8:02am  
Member: Joined Nov 2014  Total posts:134

I seem to remember Will (Shakespeare) explaining that Othello is a black guy who kidnaps Desdemona (a white girl) and the publisher says "That won't go down very well, what else you got" Will then explains A Midsummer Nights Dream is about Fairies and there's a guy called Bottom who has the head of an Ass. I can understand that the content may not be acceptable by today's standards but cannot understand why there doesn't seem to be any evidence that it ever existed. I agree Rob that it should be out there somewhere. I have had some response from Facebook friends who also remember the sketch so I am glad I haven't gone totally doolally.
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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660 of 672  Wed 12th Jul 2017 10:26am  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1737

Man, twenty-eight, haughty cool, name of Rowley Crossed the road always slowly He waited till cars were incredibly near Then sauntered across with an arrogant sneer And by this expedient - this was the plan He aimed to display to us he was the man His end, though, was tragic, he dashed out his brains It turns out you can't do the same thing with trains
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