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Wimero
Nr Rugby
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661 of 672  Tue 11th Jul 2017 3:28pm  
Member: Joined Mar 2015  Total posts:148

For swimming a length of Livingstone Road baths, when I was about 10 years old and a pupil at Stoke Junior School, I was awarded my certificate. I remember my gran being so proud as she told my granddad that I had been certified and had been given a 'cerstifficut' to prove it. Blush
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Rob Orland
Historic Coventry
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662 of 672  Tue 11th Jul 2017 6:55pm  
Webmaster: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:937

On 10th Jul 2017 4:00pm, Derrickarthur said: Love comedian Bob Newhart's material such as Walter Raleigh inventing tobacco....
That's one of the funniest sketches I've ever heard - how anyone can possibly see the logic in smoking after hearing it, goodness knows! Lol I don't know of any sketch he did about Shakespeare, but if it's half as good as the tobacco one then it'll be worth finding. I've had a quick search on YouTube and elsewhere but not come across it yet I'm afraid. Knowing the kind of stuff you often see on YouTube, I doubt if a bit of political incorrectness would prevent them from hosting it.... fortunately! Wink
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Derrickarthur
Coventry
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663 of 672  Wed 12th Jul 2017 8:02am  
Member: Joined Nov 2014  Total posts:132

I seem to remember Will (Shakespeare) explaining that Othello is a black guy who kidnaps Desdemona (a white girl) and the publisher says "That won't go down very well, what else you got" Will then explains A Midsummer Nights Dream is about Fairies and there's a guy called Bottom who has the head of an Ass. I can understand that the content may not be acceptable by today's standards but cannot understand why there doesn't seem to be any evidence that it ever existed. I agree Rob that it should be out there somewhere. I have had some response from Facebook friends who also remember the sketch so I am glad I haven't gone totally doolally.
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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664 of 672  Wed 12th Jul 2017 10:26am  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1682

Man, twenty-eight, haughty cool, name of Rowley Crossed the road always slowly He waited till cars were incredibly near Then sauntered across with an arrogant sneer And by this expedient - this was the plan He aimed to display to us he was the man His end, though, was tragic, he dashed out his brains It turns out you can't do the same thing with trains
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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Thread starter
665 of 672  Fri 21st Jul 2017 7:45am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4384

The new HS2 route will pass directly through a Doncaster man's living room, between the TV and the sofa, every 30 minutes. The high-speed rail link will go through 66-year-old Bill McKay's home up to 24 times a day at speeds approaching 250 miles per hour, about which he is not happy. He said: "They tell me it'll be so fast I won't notice it. I'll bloody notice it. "I'm not an excitable man, I'm well past that, my blood's cooled, but a high-speed train packed with passengers racing past while I'm watching Pointless in my undercrackers is going too far. "I'm not moving! I've got pigeons, but if it's repeatedly spilling my brew I'll have to have words." A spokesman for HS2 said: "We have tried wherever possible to limit disruption to residential areas, and have largely succeeded apart from in the particular case of the living room of Mr McKay. "He will be well compensated with a larger television."
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PhilipInCoventry
Holbrooks
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666 of 672  Fri 21st Jul 2017 9:33am  
Moderator: Joined Apr 2010  Total posts:3824

Only one answer to that. A Song
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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667 of 672  Mon 24th Jul 2017 5:15pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1682

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, take a big breath, you're about to fall Open your eyes, you're not looking at me, don't know that guy, who is he I've warned you many times, my face does not have so many lines I'd kick you in your bargain basement, if it wasn't for my hip-replacement. I'm just getting on, and nature is cruel, just makes us old folk feel like a fool What have you done to my curly hair, now snow white and almost bare And what have you done to my once sparkling eyes You've made them so bleary, that really wasn't so wise I'd really like to give you clout, except for my pacemaker's running out You never did care for me, not a thing, so now I'm going to cut your string You'll fall and break, end up in the bin, I don't care, I've got rid of him
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LesMac
Coventry
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668 of 672  Tue 8th Aug 2017 12:18pm  
Member: Joined Dec 2011  Total posts:288

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow' for assessment. "Ooh!" the presenter said, "This is a very rare set produced by the Johns Brothers Celebrated Taxidermists. They operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?" "Sticks," replied Paddy.
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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669 of 672  Thu 10th Aug 2017 6:22pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1682

A clergyman residing in Lincolnshire, whose servant was lately executed for robbing him. The man was born in the clergyman's house, was christened by him, married by him, hung for robbing him, conveyed back to the village and buried by him.
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Wimero
Nr Rugby
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670 of 672  Fri 11th Aug 2017 8:17am  
Member: Joined Mar 2015  Total posts:148

For Celtic FC to win the Scottish premiership again is an achievement on par with me beating my 10year old granddaughter at arm wrestling. Blush
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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Thread starter
671 of 672  Fri 11th Aug 2017 8:30am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4384

Poole 30 Rye House 60 Lol Lol Cheers Cheers Big grin Big grin Six ex-Bees in the winning team Thumbs up POOLE 30: Hans Andersen 8+1, Paul Starke 6+1, Brady Kurtz 5, Timo Lahti 3, Edward Kennett 3, James Shane 3, Jack Holder 2 RYE HOUSE 60: Chris Harris 12+1, Krzysztof Kasprzak 11+1, Ricky Wells 10, Scott Nicholls 9+1, Ben Barker 8+1, Stuart Robson 7+2, Ben Morley 3+2 Premiership points: Poole 0 Rye House 4
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Dreamtime
Perth Western Australia
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672 of 672  Fri 11th Aug 2017 11:41am  
Member: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:2866

On 10th Aug 2017 6:22pm, Kaga simpson said: A clergyman residing in Lincolnshire, whose servant was lately executed for robbing him. The man was born in the clergyman's house, was christened by him, married by him, hung for robbing him, conveyed back to the village and buried by him.
It's true then Kaga, 'What goes around, comes around' and justice was done.
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