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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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661 of 711  Thu 10th Aug 2017 6:22pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:2070

A clergyman residing in Lincolnshire, whose servant was lately executed for robbing him. The man was born in the clergyman's house, was christened by him, married by him, hung for robbing him, conveyed back to the village and buried by him.
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Wimero
Nr Rugby
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662 of 711  Fri 11th Aug 2017 8:17am  
Member: Joined Mar 2015  Total posts:148

For Celtic FC to win the Scottish premiership again is an achievement on par with me beating my 10year old granddaughter at arm wrestling. Blush
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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663 of 711  Fri 11th Aug 2017 8:30am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4900

Poole 30 Rye House 60 Lol Lol Cheers Cheers Big grin Big grin Six ex-Bees in the winning team Thumbs up POOLE 30: Hans Andersen 8+1, Paul Starke 6+1, Brady Kurtz 5, Timo Lahti 3, Edward Kennett 3, James Shane 3, Jack Holder 2 RYE HOUSE 60: Chris Harris 12+1, Krzysztof Kasprzak 11+1, Ricky Wells 10, Scott Nicholls 9+1, Ben Barker 8+1, Stuart Robson 7+2, Ben Morley 3+2 Premiership points: Poole 0 Rye House 4
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Dreamtime
Perth Western Australia
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664 of 711  Fri 11th Aug 2017 11:41am  
Member: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:3029

On 10th Aug 2017 6:22pm, Kaga simpson said: A clergyman residing in Lincolnshire, whose servant was lately executed for robbing him. The man was born in the clergyman's house, was christened by him, married by him, hung for robbing him, conveyed back to the village and buried by him.
It's true then Kaga, 'What goes around, comes around' and justice was done.
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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665 of 711  Fri 1st Sep 2017 3:03pm  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4900

I'm guess many of you are familiar with LinkedIn - "a business and employment-oriented social networking service that operates via websites and mobile apps, mainly used for professional networking, including employers posting jobs and job seekers posting their CVs." This one (apparently local to Coventry) comes across as slightly amusing! Lol Roll eyes Maybe not to be taken too seriously Thumbs up
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Dreamtime
Perth Western Australia
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666 of 711  Sat 2nd Sep 2017 5:57am  
Member: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:3029

MR, Constable Plod might have something to say about that. Wink
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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667 of 711  Sun 3rd Sep 2017 7:42am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4900

Looks like cobblers! Lol
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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668 of 711  Mon 4th Sep 2017 8:29am  
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World Cup Qualifier result: France 0 Luxembourg 0
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pixrobin
Canley
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669 of 711  Mon 6th Nov 2017 9:02pm  
Member: Joined Mar 2014  Total posts:1025

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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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670 of 711  Fri 10th Nov 2017 8:02am  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:2070

1942. Lady Colefax, Tory MP, said "I would like to meet the mother of the Unknown Soldier".
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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671 of 711  Mon 13th Nov 2017 9:06am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4900

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do." his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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672 of 711  Thu 16th Nov 2017 8:46am  
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A French policeman stops an Englishman's car and asks if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malt whiskeys thereafter. Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to breath test the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed totally sloshed. He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested. The Englishman answers "No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and that my wife is driving . . . . . on the other side?"
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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673 of 711  Fri 17th Nov 2017 8:01am  
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Les asked his wife, if he died would she remarry? His wife thought about it and said "Well I suppose so". "And would you and him sleep in our bed?" His wife thought again and said "Well it makes sense" Les pressed on and asked "Would you make love to him?" "Of course" replied his wife, "as he would be my husband then". "How about my golf clubs?" asked Les, "Would you give those to him?" His wife shook her head and said "There wouldn't be any point, he's left handed".
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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674 of 711  Sat 18th Nov 2017 8:25am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4900

God Loves Drunk People Too A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it's 3:00 in the morning and it's bloomin' well pouring with rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know." The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," the drunk replied.
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Dreamtime
Perth Western Australia
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675 of 711  Sat 18th Nov 2017 2:57pm  
Member: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:3029

Another classic MR, thanks. I am going to start writing all these down. Lol Big grin
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