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Slim
Another Coventry kid
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751 of 754  Wed 5th Jun 2019 9:05am  
Member: Joined Mar 2013  Total posts:529

A wise person once said "one door closes, and another door opens". He was a brilliant philosopher. But a rubbish cabinet-maker.
Have a laugh!
Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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752 of 754  Mon 17th Jun 2019 9:19am  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:2863

Wartime queueing, and serious. "I had nothing in the house to give my husband yesterday, so he had vegetables. And do you know, in the evening, he was quite limp". "Hello Mary, you don't look too good". "It's my husband Joe. He was up all night, fair worn me out". "Do you have a small loaf?" Baker: "Haven't had flour for over a week". "Can I have a few cakes then?"
Have a laugh!
Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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753 of 754  Wed 19th Jun 2019 6:53pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:2863

A guy in Brighton decided to take his family to Scotland for a holiday, but the granny said, "You're not leaving me here on my own", so they took her to Scotland with them. But granny died whilst on holiday. The guy asked the price to bring her back to Brighton - huge price - so the guy bought a big cardboard box, put granny in, tied it on the roof rack and headed back to Brighton. But they stopped at a restaurant. Came out - the car was missing, stolen. The police and insurance had a nightmare trying to solve the problem.
Have a laugh!
Helen F
Warrington
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754 of 754  Wed 19th Jun 2019 8:19pm  
Member: Joined Mar 2013  Total posts:1398

I may have told this story before but Kaga's tale reminded me. About 30 years ago my mum, dad, aged aunt and I were driving back from holiday. On the way we'd stopped off and my aunt had bought a potted hydrangea from M&S wrapped in one of those plastic cones. Not wanting it to be squashed, she sat with it on her lap. I dosed next to her on the back seat half listening to a dreary radio play when one of the characters said 'you can't meet her, she's dead'. I half woke up and turned to my aunt to discover her face first in the plastic cone with the sides fully folded round her head. She wasn't moving. My first instinct was to scream but I was aware we were hurtling along the M1 in summer holiday traffic. So I gargled a very soft 'help, help, help' like an episode of the Goon Show. I vigorously shook my aunt and dragged the bag out from her alarmingly firm grip. I'd no idea how long she'd been in there and feared the worst. Oh my Slowly she came round while my mum's asking 'what, what?' thinking my muted screams were about me. Dad pulled off at the next service station and we made sure my aunt was fully re-oxygenated and at that point our sense of humour started to return. We speculated how we'd have explained it to the police but dad came up with the best 'at the funeral, it would have been 'no flowers, by request'.'
Have a laugh!

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