You know when you've got old

I remember Helen Shapiro appearing at the Belgrade at the height of her popularity and hoping to get a glimpse of her at one of the windows behind the theatre. I never did but what puzzles me is that I had already left Bond Street by 1961 although it's possible I was visiting a friend who still lived there I suppose.

You know you have got old when... Someone tells you they have Bluetooth and you suggest they visit their dentist. You can remember when there was only one type of battery to choose from.

A 75 year old friend of mine in New Zealand was called to the local doctor's surgery to have his flu jab. After letting the receptionist know he was there he sat down to wait. 20 minutes later he got up and left. He went back home. A few minutes later his phone rang. It was the surgery wanting to know where he was. "Well, as I am talking to you at the number you rang I thought you might guess I am at home." "Why didn't you wait for your flu jab." "I did. But after 20 minutes it came to me that you all have more opportunities to waste 20 minutes in your futures than I have in my own future." He put the phone down. He got on with his business of the day. An hour later the nurse from the surgery drew up in her car and, with a very broad smile, gave him his flu jab.

The following is only for a bit of amusement, but perhaps contains a degree of truth! The young desire change. The old desire continuity. The young desire novelty. The old desire familiarity. The young desire adventure. The old desire serenity. The young desire technology. The old desire greenery. The young desire celebrity. The old desire affinity. The young desire success. The old desire participation. The young desire victory. The old desire the game itself. The young desire accumulation. The old desire retention. The young desire alcohol. The old desire cake. The young desire each other. The old desire cats and dogs. I did subsequently add "The young desire Facebook. The old desire a good book." which provided me with some low level mirth, but now I have decided against it, because it detracts from what I believe to be the broader and more significant observation. Which is that our values change as we age. Thus, the 20 year old who currently values many of the elements contained in column one will, by the time they reach 60 plus, have gradually switched to more of the elements contained in column two. Of course, these are not necessarily 'either - or' but this presentation serves to highlight the sorts of choices we find ourselves making which seem to be influenced by age. Again, not to be taken too seriously, but it is interesting to me how this has played out in my own life. It is not a groundbreaking revelation but it does, I feel, tend to get overlooked in the inter-generational differences of viewpoint that sporadically burst forth. I don't have children, so maybe this is stating the obvious to those that do. Edited by member, 30th Jun 2017 9:38 pm

'Tainted Love' by Soft Cell was released nearer to the end of the Second World War than to today.

It has finally caught up with me - Oh heavens above, I am getting just like my Mum

Yesterday I took the train to Clapham Junction. Shortly before arriving, I noticed that across the other side of the carriage was a "little old lady" preparing to leave the train. She had a carrier bag, which I presume contained a handbag, and a small suitcase. Knowing that we would be at platform 17 - because it's on a curve, there's a big gap between the train and the platform edge - I suggested to her that, if she got herself off and onto the platform, I'd take her case off for her. She thanked me, and, with the doors now open, she moved forward and alighted the train. As we were using the central door of the carriage, a couple of passengers from the other end then moved off behind her - then it was my turn. I stooped to lift the lady's suitcase, and as I did so, a male passenger, aged about 30, said to me "I'll give you a hand with that". I thanked him and explained that I was in fact helping the lady on the platform. Despite advancing years, I still stand well over 6ft tall - and it was a very small suitcase. I coped!

Oh, that was a classic MR - thanks. I consider myself still very spritely for an 'oldie' but have had a few considerations shown to me whilst out and about. I think it must be the platinum hair that does it (note I didn't say grey/silver)

You know when you're old when you pay for your funeral.

Wound the cat up and kicked the clock out.

When you go out on New Year's Eve and drink as little as possible instead of as much as possible.

I must be still young then! Yes my New Year's Day was wiped out. Happy New Year All!

Bu . . . B . . . . Damn. Been sitting around for days for the England football match, gets an hour into the game and I have an age problem and miss the rest of the match. My surgery has 7 doctors and you get booked in with any one of them unless you want to wait forever. Doctor says "Come in, sit down", then looks at the computer for a few minutes. "See you had Morphine at the hospital." "Yeh, it made me ill". "Did it now? Well I think I'll change one of your tablets". I already take a yellow one, a yellow and green one, a red, and a white. "Can you give me a black one? Maybe they can play snooker amongst themselves". "Ugh". He was not amused. He wrote a prescription, gave it to me, and said as I limped out the door, "Take it easy for a few days". I read the forum, do jigsaw puzzles, lay down, read a book, lay down. Maybe he thought I might swim the Channel. Such is life.