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Midland Red
Cherwell
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661 of 682  Fri 21st Jul 2017 7:45am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4549

The new HS2 route will pass directly through a Doncaster man's living room, between the TV and the sofa, every 30 minutes. The high-speed rail link will go through 66-year-old Bill McKay's home up to 24 times a day at speeds approaching 250 miles per hour, about which he is not happy. He said: "They tell me it'll be so fast I won't notice it. I'll bloody notice it. "I'm not an excitable man, I'm well past that, my blood's cooled, but a high-speed train packed with passengers racing past while I'm watching Pointless in my undercrackers is going too far. "I'm not moving! I've got pigeons, but if it's repeatedly spilling my brew I'll have to have words." A spokesman for HS2 said: "We have tried wherever possible to limit disruption to residential areas, and have largely succeeded apart from in the particular case of the living room of Mr McKay. "He will be well compensated with a larger television."
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PhilipInCoventry
Holbrooks
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662 of 682  Fri 21st Jul 2017 9:33am  
Moderator: Joined Apr 2010  Total posts:3838

Only one answer to that. A Song
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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663 of 682  Mon 24th Jul 2017 5:15pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1811

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, take a big breath, you're about to fall Open your eyes, you're not looking at me, don't know that guy, who is he I've warned you many times, my face does not have so many lines I'd kick you in your bargain basement, if it wasn't for my hip-replacement. I'm just getting on, and nature is cruel, just makes us old folk feel like a fool What have you done to my curly hair, now snow white and almost bare And what have you done to my once sparkling eyes You've made them so bleary, that really wasn't so wise I'd really like to give you clout, except for my pacemaker's running out You never did care for me, not a thing, so now I'm going to cut your string You'll fall and break, end up in the bin, I don't care, I've got rid of him
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LesMac
Coventry
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664 of 682  Tue 8th Aug 2017 12:18pm  
Member: Joined Dec 2011  Total posts:294

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow' for assessment. "Ooh!" the presenter said, "This is a very rare set produced by the Johns Brothers Celebrated Taxidermists. They operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?" "Sticks," replied Paddy.
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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665 of 682  Thu 10th Aug 2017 6:22pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1811

A clergyman residing in Lincolnshire, whose servant was lately executed for robbing him. The man was born in the clergyman's house, was christened by him, married by him, hung for robbing him, conveyed back to the village and buried by him.
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Wimero
Nr Rugby
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666 of 682  Fri 11th Aug 2017 8:17am  
Member: Joined Mar 2015  Total posts:146

For Celtic FC to win the Scottish premiership again is an achievement on par with me beating my 10year old granddaughter at arm wrestling. Blush
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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667 of 682  Fri 11th Aug 2017 8:30am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4549

Poole 30 Rye House 60 Lol Lol Cheers Cheers Big grin Big grin Six ex-Bees in the winning team Thumbs up POOLE 30: Hans Andersen 8+1, Paul Starke 6+1, Brady Kurtz 5, Timo Lahti 3, Edward Kennett 3, James Shane 3, Jack Holder 2 RYE HOUSE 60: Chris Harris 12+1, Krzysztof Kasprzak 11+1, Ricky Wells 10, Scott Nicholls 9+1, Ben Barker 8+1, Stuart Robson 7+2, Ben Morley 3+2 Premiership points: Poole 0 Rye House 4
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Dreamtime
Perth Western Australia
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668 of 682  Fri 11th Aug 2017 11:41am  
Member: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:2866

On 10th Aug 2017 6:22pm, Kaga simpson said: A clergyman residing in Lincolnshire, whose servant was lately executed for robbing him. The man was born in the clergyman's house, was christened by him, married by him, hung for robbing him, conveyed back to the village and buried by him.
It's true then Kaga, 'What goes around, comes around' and justice was done.
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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669 of 682  Fri 1st Sep 2017 3:03pm  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4549

I'm guess many of you are familiar with LinkedIn - "a business and employment-oriented social networking service that operates via websites and mobile apps, mainly used for professional networking, including employers posting jobs and job seekers posting their CVs." This one (apparently local to Coventry) comes across as slightly amusing! Lol Roll eyes Maybe not to be taken too seriously Thumbs up
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Dreamtime
Perth Western Australia
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670 of 682  Sat 2nd Sep 2017 5:57am  
Member: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:2866

MR, Constable Plod might have something to say about that. Wink
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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671 of 682  Sun 3rd Sep 2017 7:42am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4549

Looks like cobblers! Lol
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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672 of 682  Mon 4th Sep 2017 8:29am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4549

World Cup Qualifier result: France 0 Luxembourg 0
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pixrobin
Canley
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673 of 682  Mon 6th Nov 2017 9:02pm  
Member: Joined Mar 2014  Total posts:994

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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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674 of 682  Fri 10th Nov 2017 8:02am  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:1811

1942. Lady Colefax, Tory MP, said "I would like to meet the mother of the Unknown Soldier".
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Midland Red
Cherwell
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675 of 682  Mon 13th Nov 2017 9:06am  
Moderator: Joined Jan 2010  Total posts:4549

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do." his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"
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