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Allesley Park
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736 of 748  Fri 5th Oct 2018 7:45pm  
Member: Joined Aug 2011  Total posts:435

I've had the feeling I've been living in the Matrix for a while now what with Trump and all the ridiculous stuff happening in the world but today has confirmed my suspicions. The head of the International Police has gone missing!
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Heathite
Coventry
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737 of 748  Fri 5th Oct 2018 8:05pm  
Member: Joined Aug 2012  Total posts:557

Amateurs! They need to look further abroad.
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Heathite
Coventry
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738 of 748  Wed 10th Oct 2018 5:18pm  
Member: Joined Aug 2012  Total posts:557

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Old Lincolnian
Coventry
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739 of 748  Fri 12th Oct 2018 11:42am  
Member: Joined Sep 2012  Total posts:500

What's the definition of an intellectual? Someone who can hear "The William Tell Overture", without thinking about "The Lone Ranger."
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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740 of 748  Fri 12th Oct 2018 1:33pm  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:2639

A young wife came home from the ante-natal clinic, and excitedly told her husband she was having triplets. The dog looked up and thought, is that all. The cat looked up and thought, how many will they drown.
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Wimero
Nr Rugby
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741 of 748  Fri 12th Oct 2018 3:07pm  
Member: Joined Mar 2015  Total posts:167

My neighbour recently invented a cold air balloon but it never really took off.
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Wearethemods
Aberdeenshire
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742 of 748  Wed 17th Oct 2018 9:55am  
Member: Joined Jun 2013  Total posts:396

I was talking to my grandson (aged 11) the other day and with Christmas coming up I was him telling about how austere things were years ago and children were lucky if they got an apple and an orange. His response was "a computer AND a mobile phone"! I give up!!!!
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pixrobin
Canley
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743 of 748  Fri 14th Dec 2018 7:45pm  
Member: Joined Mar 2014  Total posts:1079

This map shows the Roman Air Force bases in 2nd century AD or electricity usage across Europe in 1502. The map below is self-explanatory.
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Kaga simpson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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744 of 748  Sat 15th Dec 2018 11:01am  
Member: Joined Sep 2014  Total posts:2639

pixrobin, Lol Lol Lol
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Roger Turner
Torksey
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745 of 748  Sat 15th Dec 2018 11:09am  
Member: Joined Aug 2014  Total posts:572

On 17th Oct 2018 9:55am, Wearethemods said: I was talking to my grandson (aged 11) the other day and with Christmas coming up I was him telling about how austere things were years ago and children were lucky if they got an apple and an orange. His response was "a computer AND a mobile phone"! I give up!!!!
Hi Wearethemods, up in my favourite country. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year when it comes. Would that have been an apple in one toe of the tights and an orange in the other, plus all the rest of the very often "useless" goodies in the rest of this "Santa sack"? Cheers

Question

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Wimero
Nr Rugby
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746 of 748  Sun 6th Jan 2019 11:54am  
Member: Joined Mar 2015  Total posts:167

Had a Bonnie Tyler sat nav for Christmas. Absolute garbage, don't waste your money. Keeps telling me to turn around, turn around . . . then every now and then it falls apart.
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Derrickarthur
Coventry
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747 of 748  Sun 6th Jan 2019 5:36pm  
Member: Joined Nov 2014  Total posts:151

I got a Mr T sat nav. Also garbage. Keeps saying Turn right Fool, straight on fool, but no matter what, it won't take me to the Airport.
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scrutiny
coventry
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748 of 748  Mon 28th Jan 2019 4:33pm  
Member: Joined Feb 2010  Total posts:644

This poem I believe is by Pam Ayres, however there are many variations to it so I think copyright should be ok. Hope it has not been on before.
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