Older people in Coventry

Hi Forumgoers - I wonder if you can help! I've started this thread because I'm worried about my mother, who now lives alone in the house in Wyken that she and my father bought in 1951. While I manage to get to Coventry for a week or so most years, and my sister sees her from time to time, and is close enough to visit whenever she needs help, she always complains of being lonely. I have introduced her to Skype, and the neighbours kindly help her with the network, so we can chat and see each other quite regularly, but of course this isn't the same as having company. She's now 85, has a few (typically age-related) health problems, and doesn't get out much, and her social network is disappearing, but I think that part of the problem is that she doesn't seem to be able to find others with common interests, and she really needs "something to do". She's never been one for cribbage etc, and activities involving lots of walking are out of the question. I imagine that her circumstances are probably quite common, given Coventry's demographics, and the fact that so many Coventry kids, like me, left long ago to explore the big wide world. Does anyone have any ideas on this?

Hi JW, I would imagine there are lots of people in the same difficult position that you find youself in. Maybe it would be a good idea to have a chat with these people Age UK They are set up to specifically help the "older people" in our city. Hope that helps in some small way

Looks good - many thanks Jaytob!

Hi Johnnie, Jaytob is quite right to recommend Age UK to help your mum. I work as a volunteer in the office in Warwick Row, Coventry. If you ring and ask for Claire Bullivant, she is the Volunteer Organiser and will be able to tell you about the various Friendship Groups and also the Befriending Service. They also do a Helping Hand Service, which is chargeable, for people who need help with shopping and housework etc. Hope you find this helpful, regards Jan.

Thanks Mayjan It's very much an issue of (re-)building and maintaining a friendship circle, as she is quite self-sufficient in most respects. As I, myself, am now in my 60s, I can see how difficult it must be to motivate yourself to keep active, when your old friends and familiar surroundings are fading away, and your mobility is reducing. I'll give Claire a call!

For a start, is she any good on the computer? She could drop in here for a chat. I bet she could tell you a few tales about Coventry. However, the old PC can frighten some older folk and they look on it as a "BEAST" All the best to your mum JW ps I wonder If I will be on here when I am 85

You're quite right Dreamtime. I've tried to show her things, and the neighbours help too, but she is scared of making mistakes, and gives up very easily when the screen doesn't do what she's familiar with. Then, of course, she doesn't touch it again until someone restores it to "normal". I've actually shown her this site, and added it as one of her "home pages", because she definitely would have interesting things to say, but the very act of adding an extra home page made it look "different" and she thought she'd lost her Skype! She needs to write things down, but websites change, and the minute her notes don't work, she gives up again. One of the things I was hoping for was a "phone-a-friend" for elderly computer users. I suspect that we who grew up with computers will have no trouble when we're 85, but they'll have invented something even scarier by then! I already have to ask the kids for help with the mobile phone

Yes JW, I am a great believer in asking the young before they forget!!!! Although it is as you say, and I have found it to be true, they will have invented something scarier by the time you have mastered a problem. I can well understand how your mum feels but I hope she doesn't give up and perseveres.